This aching heart all filled up with pain, Overwhelming the thought just to maintain
Long restless nights and wasted weary days, becoming more frequent of my un-structured ways
The tired crowd, once my biggest fans, one by one throw up their hands
So I’m left lifeless and frozen as I watch them walk away, Looks on their face of helpless dismay
It’s not then till I realize what I’ve thrown away
It starts to get cold and begins to rain, the daylight escapes me as I’m left there in pain
Feeling defeat like a slap in the face, as the strong, stormy winds, show me no grace
So alone once again, myself to blame, I shoulda been wiser when I chose the game
Now I battle the storm that’s deep within, tears streaming, when will they end..
Will I ever own back the life I once knew… Or the best part of me gone, too lost to pursue?
I am such a strong believer in energy… More then energy, I believe there’s much strength that evolves from our heart. When I truly decide to charge something, when my heart feels so alive within my chest, when I know everything I’m doing is genuine and good to my core, the world gives that same energy back to me.
I’ve been on a rollercoaster ride (of my own making) for several… many years. The amount of wreckage and turmoil and pain is indescribable. At times it’s overwhelming and almost hopeless.. However I am fighting for the better life. Breaking free from the bondage of my demons. Things are beginning to evolve for me. I start my new job tomorrow. I’m elated. Thank you God! This week is a good week. One day at a time.
Come too far to turn back now
What am I doing? This path so unmade
I’m constantly tripping and falling hard
The scars and the cuts I wear like a shirt
No longer can I hide how much I hurt.
I feel like defeat is staring me down. Challenging me,,, taunting me… its Victory so loud!
Not sure where this goes, or what lies ahead. Not sure if I care. Am I already dead?